4:44

My Dad died in 2007, May 20th. Normally, people would talk about what a great life someone led or how amazing they were. My Dad and I were never really close. My Dad liked to spend time alone with his many books. When I was growing up he would put on amazing spreads for dinner parties... ah he had a knack for creating fabulous food and growing amazing gardens. When I was little we always had a green house full of tomatoes. But later in life he seldom cooked, gardened and he spent more and more time with his drink and his books.

You might think, why are you so down on your Dad? I am just being honest. But that is not why I am writing this blog. While I was home to set dad out to sea, he was cremated, the Christmas Cactus bloomed in our basement, did I mention it was May? Way out of season. I saw it and said "Thanks Dad for giving me a sign."

This blog is about 4:44, a time when my dad came to me a few weeks after he died.
After I had returned to Fort McMurray, one night I awoke from a deep sleep to the smell of smoke, not like smoke from  a fire but from a Player's Plain cigarette! I woke up and sat on the edge of the bed. No one in our house smoked and no windows were open. I didn't wake my husband up. I just looked at the clock radio glowing in the dark, 4:44. "I love you dad, but I have to work tomorrow, night." I lay back down and went to sleep.

Since he has passed, I can not even tell you how many times he has waken me up at that time, now he has recruited our puppy to help do his dirty work. It has extended into the day time as well, I just walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. 4:44 the clock read... "Hi Dad, love you." Now it has become a habit, it seems if I am annoyed or need to take a break and change gears 4:44 will appear, seemingly out of nowhere! One night my husband and I were watching Team Canada in an important World Junior Hockey Game and the officials stopped the game with 4:44 left on the clock, "Come on Jim, just one more goal" my husband urged, funny my Dad was never a hockey fan in this life but in the next I guess he just wants to see me happy. Actually, I know he does. Even his parents who passed when I was in my late teens and early twenties seem to be protective spirits around me.

4:44 calms me, makes me smile and it makes me think. 4:44 makes me remember what is important and it gives my heart peace. I wish you all a 4:44.

"Love you, Dad!"

Hope in the Dark

Last night I participated in The Center of Hope's 4th annual Hope in the Dark

The Centre of Hope is Fort McMurray's homeless shelter helps homeless people by inspiring hope, encouraging change through love, kindness and acceptance. Last night was the 4th annual Hope in the Dark, a Homelessness Awareness campaign where residents could sign up to sleep and eat rough for a night. We had to trade pop bottles and cans for a hot dog. We were able to gather some flattened boxes to sleep on. Don't leave your stuff unattended or it may disappear!

At around 11pm a candlelight vigil was held for those patrons of the centre that we have lost. Earlier in the night Tina from Southbound sang a few songs as well as David with his guitar and Nathan did some thought provoking spoken-word. I wanted to share this video to describe the stats from 2013. 


Why Hope in the Dark

How do you want to be treated?

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

Video 4

Video 5

This was my presentation: There is Hope in the Dark

There is Hope in the Dark

I have never written a blog with videos but this is the only way to relay the message. Thanks to my BFF for recording it.

well, it sure has been a while

Guess if I am putting this  blog back out there I should add a new post!
Paul and I moved back to Fort McMurray in October 2013. Our condo was destroyed by our renters but that was not the only thing that had changed. I had changed, I knew I was back in Fort Mac for a reason, I just didn't know what that reason was. It took me a month to make the condo livable again. Then Christmas and the job search began.
I was quite happy subbing in the public school district. Then one day in January, while I was subbing at Westwood High School, Julie (Francophone EA) says to me "you speak French? My son's English teacher just left the Francophone school and they are looking for someone.  You should put your resume in!" I mulled it over for a couple days and then Thursday evening I thought to myself "what have I got to lose?" I fired off an email to Sonia Coulombe. I had no idea that my email would be answered within minutes. Sonia who was 9 months pregnant with twins happened to get out of bed for a glass of water and she saw that I had left an email. She desperately wanted to fill the position before she went on maternity leave. She emailed me immediately and I met with her for an interview the following Monday. Nicole and Caroline joined Sonia for my interview. Nicole would be taking over as principal and Caroline was the school's longest standing teacher with 24 years under her belt. At the end of the interview Sonia said, I discussed your resume with Mr Lemire, the Super Intendant of Commission Scolaire Centre Nord. He said "with her credentials you would be a fool to let Janice get away!"
Then and there she offered me the part time English position which I accepted.
By the time May rolled around I felt very comfortable with the staff and students, I was only working 0.3 so I asked if I could be considered for the 0.4 classroom support teacher position. I am very happy to say I was offered this position and this school year has been wonderful. I work 0.7 which means I get Mondays off. Everyone knows 3 day weekends are a blessing. I love my classes and I love my students and my colleagues.
I am not sure what next school year will bring but for now I appreciate every day for the blessing that it is and I am so thankful that God lead us back to Fort McMurray.

My beginnings

When I was 5 years old, Mom and I were home, it must have been a ped day. Mom was a teacher. Mom was in the bath and I was watching TV. Adoption came up on the show I was watching, I was curious so I went upstairs to ask Mom what it was… I will always remember she was in the tub and I came in and sat on the toilet. "Mom, what's adoption?" 

Mom explained that it was when  a Mommy and Daddy can't take care of a baby so they give it to a family who can take care of the baby and love it forever.

I thought that was pretty cool. Mom had used the word chosen,adopted babies are chosen. I said "adopted babies are very lucky." 

"I am glad you feel that way, Janice, you are adopted." Mom told me.

She then explained that I was adopted at 7 months. Because after Mommy and Daddy had my brother, Ricky they had 5 other babies, but these babies were all sick and died in Mommy's tummy. The Dr said Mommy and Daddy would have to stop trying to have a new baby or Mommy could get very sick.

It was March, 1972 by the time my parents were approved to adopt. I was born on Feb 16th, 1972. They called the orphanage in Sept lies. The nun who they spoke to said there were no babies available. Why didn't the Nun tell them about me? 

You see, when I was born my little toes were touching and my knees pointed at each other. The nuns didn't think I would ever walk and they didn't think anyone would want the burden of raising a crippled child. My Mom and Dad kept hearing that there was a child in the orphanage and they kept calling… they were always being turned away. Finally come August My Dad call the orphanage when the Nun said there were no children  my dad said " I know there is a little girl there." "Yes, Mr Wigmore, but she will be crippled you really don't want this child you should wait for a healthy baby." My father insisted, "My wife and I want to see this baby, we have the means we can get her whatever she needs."

In September my parents went to visit me at the orphanage, When the nun brought me out I was wrapped in a pale yellow blanket. My Mom and Dad fell in love with me instantly. My big blue eyes smiled up at them. 

My Mom said "I don't care if she never walks, she is perfect."

I can walk today, my mom worked hard with me when I was little to turn my feet out. I could run and play with all the other boys and girls. I played baseball, volleyball, basketball,  I was a competitive swimmer and figure skater. 

God blessed me with my parents.

To Tell Her

They say "you don't know what you have until it's gone."
They say "life can change in a split second."
They say "tell those you care about how much you care before it is too late."
They are so right.
11 years ago I left Baie Comeau, Quebec on the great western adventure with my Aunt Mel, my Uncle John and their boys John and Andrew.
I was excited to leave Baie Comeau, I wanted to spread my wings and fly away from the comfort of the North Shore where I grew up.
I said goodbye to all my colleagues and friends. I was ready as I would ever be. Just one last thing, my friend and Executive Director, R, had invited me to have supper at a fancy restaurant. This would be our last meal together for a long time. There was so much I wanted to say to her. I wanted to thank her for the tireless hours she put in the North Shore Community Association. She had made my job, as president, so easy. I loved spending time with R, we would go to her beach house on weekends. We would raid her mother's garden, any chance we got. We loved to listen to music and dance around her house. She made me laugh and always knew what to say. I wanted to thank her, thank her for being my friend and thank her for letting me be hers.
I waited at the restaurant, that night, for an hour and a half past the time R should have arrived but she never came. I called my Mom, on my cell phone, and said "Mom, how long should I wait?"
"It's ok, Jan", she said" something must have come up. You can talk to R tomorrow." I left that restaurant knowing full well that I would be leaving the very next day for Alberta.
I have been back to the North Shore on many occasions in the last 11 years but I was never able to see R again. I would enquire as to how she was doing and get news here and there, but I never had that chance to sit down with her. I never gave up hope that someday I would be able to see her.
Tonight, I heard from an old friend that R passed away yesterday. I never will get a chance to sit with her, not in this world. I wish I had just one more day, to tell her....
I love you, Renae. You are now and always have been a beautiful angel.

You are Not the Boss of Me and My New Blue Coat!

This is Nick. Today is Nick's 6th Birthday.

Nick ran to his dresser. He pulled on his favourite pair of pants, they were a little snug. Nick pulled his favourite t-shirt over his head. Nick went downstairs to have breakfast.
"Goodmorning, Nick" Mom turned to see Nick wearing a shirt that looked three sizes too small and pants that ended way above his ankle.
Nick, you had a growth spurt! You are a big boy now, you need some new clothes. We will go shopping right after breakfast.
Nick and Mom go shopping. They buy new socks, new shoes, new pants and new shirts but best of all a brand new blue coat.

As Nick was getting ready for school his little sister Sara came into his room. "Socks!" Sara screamed.
"These are not for you, Sara."
"Sara socks!"
"No Sara" Nick scolded.
"Sara socks!"
"Sara, you are not the boss of me and my new socks!"

When Nick arrived at school his friend Thomas was playing in the sandbox. Nick sat on the edge of the sandbox. "Come on in, Nick!"
"Nope."
"Come on! it is fun, I will give you one of my cars." said Thomas
"Nope."
"Nick!"Thomas pleaded
"You are not the boss of me and my new shoes!" Nick stomps away.

In Phys Ed class the children were doing gymnastics.
when it came to tumbling the little boy in front of Nick tore his pants.
"Your turn, Nick." Mr Mac encouraged Nick to tumble.
"Nope."
"the other boys and girls are waiting."
"nope" Nick crossed his arms.
"Nick, that is 1"
"Mr Mac", Nick pleaded "You are not the boss of me and my new pants!"

In Art class, Nick refused to paint.
"Here is your paper, Nick." Miss Kozina said sweetly.
"Nope"
"Here is your brush"
"Nope."
Nick here are some new paints, follow the instructions."
"Miss K, you are not the boss of me and my new shirt!"


At the end of the day the children in Nick's class were lining up to go home. Nick was standing in line without his coat on.
Mrs. O said "put your coat on Nick."
"Nope"
"Nick put you coat on we have to go."
"Nope"
"Nick it is raining out, please put on your coat."
"Mrs. O', you are not the boss of me and my new blue coat!"
Mrs. O' said" in this class Nick,  I am the boss! Now put on your coat!"
Nick put on his coat and went to the bus.


After supper, Nick's Mom ran him a bath.

"Ok Nick, go take your bath!"

Mom, you are not the boss of...

Mom give Nick The Look!

"Love you Mamma, you are the boss of my everything!" and he hopped into the tub.

Times they are a changing

When my parents started their careers they had no reservations. My Mom would be a teacher her whole career. My Dad would work for the local iron ore plant. They lived in a total of two houses in my home town. The one my Mom is living in now she has been living in since 1972!
Not counting going to University and college (3 different towns) I have lived in Quebec twice; NB; Alberta (3 different towns). My husband has lived all over too: Ontario, BC, AB, NB and Labrador. Staying at the same job is not a matter of stability for us... if one job falls through, we just go onto the next one. Just since moving to AB I have had 5 different jobs, substitute taught in 3 different school districts; opened my own business and  completed my Master's Degree in Counselling. Routine our lives are not but they are filled with joy and love for each other. We find the best in all our situations yet if things are not working out we are not afraid to move on.
A new adventure begins, we are on the road in our RV doing the shutdown circuit. The dogs are happy, I am working on many different projects (maybe a book deal) and Paul is working hard but happy to come "home" to his family instead of a camp room or a roach infested hovel in an overcrowded house filled with strangers.
Times are changing but it doesn't make them bad, just different. We are so lucky to have our health and be able to get out on the road and see Alberta.
I know I will have lots to share in the coming months. Stay tuned.

Janice*

Jesus Take The Wheel

You hear it, but do you believe it? The phrase Jesus Take The Wheel, came to mind as I think of the events of the last 12 months. My husband and I were living in a beautiful condo in Fort McMurray. Off to work he goes, Red Deer bound. We had every intention of moving to Edmonton in July. That is silly to be living apart, I thought. "Why don't we buy a place in Red Deer?" So I finished work at St Paul School and met Paul on June 30th.
Jesus has taken our wheel and steered us to Red Deer.
About a week into our stay at Westerner Park I heard about Westerner Days BBQ being held at Living Stones Church. I decided I wanted to help out so I went over and volunteered! What an awesome day! I made some new friends and decided that Living Stones would be my new church.
Jesus had taken the wheel and led me right to my new church family.
We were looking for a house daily, realtors didn't seem to quite get what we were looking for. One day our friend came home from work and showed us an ad on KIJIJI, "this house would be perfect! Paul and I could live upstairs and David would live in the three bedroom, den, wet bar and full bathroom,  walk out basement. We called and were disappointed to hear there was a deal in place.
"If that deal fall through let me know" I said to Wayne. The very next morning Wayne called back "The deal fell through, he would not give me my asking price." "What were you asking?" when he told me the amount I conferred with the boys and we agreed to offer what he was asking. "The house is yours!" As easy as that Jesus took the wheel again and in only 18 days we closed the deal for our Dream Home.
About a week after we moved into our new home I was coming home from running errands and Jesus took the wheel again... I turned on 55th street instead of 50th. No big deal, I get lost all the time. I looked for a place to turn around, I pulled into a retreat looking business called Shalom Counselling Services. I am here might as well go in and see if they are looking for counsellors. Jesus was guiding my steps. As I climbed the stairs, the door opened and a very nice lady said "Good morning". I said good morning and thanked her for holding the door. When I came out after speaking to the receptionist, Sylvia was still standing outside. Waiting for her daughter to pick her up. She asked about my dog who was waiting patiently in the car and we chatted while she waited for her ride. I felt very comfortable chatting with Sylvia and she with me.
"Do you know any jokes? I love a good joke!" Sylvia beamed.
I thought carefully, I just met Sylvia I certainly didn't want to offend her. I told her my Polar Bear joke. She laughed and said "I have one for you too but my daughter is here so I have to go. Give me your phone number and I will call you and tell you my joke!" I never thought twice, I scribbled my number on a scrap of paper and wished Sylvia a great day and waved goodbye.
I went home to see my family in Quebec for two weeks just days later. Upon my return, Paul said "You might want to check the machine, a lady has been calling you." To my joy it was Sylvia. Sylvia invited me to join her for ladies breakfast at her church. What a lovely event, Tuesday morning breakfast and working to make baby bundles for the orphanage in Zambia.
The best wrong turn I ever made was Jesus leading me to Sylvia. To my surprise, I found out Sylvia celebrated her 80th birthday on September 28th. She is such a blessing and we are kindered spirits.
Come October, I was gaining clients and substitute teaching. Paul was busy at work, things were coming together and we were enjoying our new house, new neighbourhood and new city.
David found love and got married in December. Newlyweds need their own space, they moved to Calgary. David found having two mortgages not feasible, so in January he told us he wanted out of our house deal.
What to do now, this house was perfect for two families but with just us it was way too big. We decided to sell and again Jesus took the wheel. 9 days after I put the ad up on KIJIJI, again, it was SOLD. We close May 1st.
Paul and I looked for a new property but always came up short. We had such a specific list of needs and wants everything seemed to pale in comparison.
Jesus must have been talking in Paul's heart... one day he came home and said "what about buying an RV and a truck and doing the shutdown circuit for the summer? Then you have an extra 6 months to find our next house." That sounded wonderful to me cause I was almost at my wits end trying to find a house.
On Thursday Sylvia took me to lunch at Albert's, soup and a wrap, one of our favourite lunches. As we were eating she said "it's time... I have to tell you my joke." All the time we had spent together and chatting on the phone she had yet to tell me her joke. I don't think I wanted to hear it, I wanted it to remain a mystery so I would always have something I needed from her. She looked excited to tell me so with a pang in my heart I let her tell me her joke. It was good, I laughed and we carried on with our lunch. I will miss Sylvia, but I will keep in touch with her, we are kindered spirits after all.
As I sit here typing this, I thank Jesus for taking the wheel, my wonderful husband is working a job he loves; my puppies are snoring and I am listening to classic songs on the radio. Life is good in the RV in Northern Alberta.
Our time in Red Deer did not go at all like we planned but obviously Jesus had different plans for us. I am thankful that I was smart enough to let him take the wheel and steer us to exactly where we need to be.

Madness or Misunderstanding

Setting:

2010, Onoway, Alberta on a three acre property in a ranch style bungalow

Characters:

Liz- 30 year old biologist and mother of 3. Liz is enjoying her last month of maternity leave before she returns to work. Liz has frizzled over processed hair and dark circles under her crystal blue eyes. Liz is a brilliant biologist and works with a team who are on the cusp of a major breakthrough in diabetes research.

Kayleigh- 11month old daughter with beautiful red hair, a bundle of joy.

Ricky- 3 year old son, go go go, non-stop, boys boy with dark hair and green eyes just like his dad.

Chantille- (nickname Little Shue) 6 year old daughter, very inquisitive, curly red hair and a smile to light up a room.

Gene- Scaffoldor Husband, handsome,  hardy and hard working.

The Voice- a voice Liz hears in her head,  menacing and cranky.

Dr. O’- World class psychiatrist. Tall and slim with flowing brown locks, she looks like she could be a model.

Dr. S.-Specialist in repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. Very astute and gentlemanly.

Dr. J.- Occupational therapist. Athletic and charming.

Dr. B.- World class psychologist who believes that schizophrenia is just a misunderstanding and can be cured. Looks like a skinny Santa with snow white hair and beard.

Janice- Liz best friend, counselor at the local YWCA. Huggable,  chunky with laughing eyes.

Paul- Janice’s husband, scaffoldor who works with Gene in Fort McMurray. Paul has wonderful green laughing eyes and a crocked smile.

ACT 1- The Voice

Scene 1-         7am, Liz is in her daughter’s bedroom, brushing her hair

Chantille:      Mamma, when is Daddy coming home?

Liz:                 oh Shue, he just left 2 days ago, he will be gone another 18 days. Then he’ll be home for 4 days.

Chantille:      Mamma, will Daddy bring me to swimming lessons when he gets home?

Liz:                 Now, Little Shue you know how tired dad is when he comes home from Fort McMurray. We will just have to wait and see how he is feeling.

(Ricky busts into Chantille’s bedroom)

Ricky:             Mamma, can I watch TV? I know there are dinos on today.

Liz:                 Yes, go ahead but only until I finish Chantille’s hair then we have to eat breakfast.

(baby Kayleigh cries in the nursery)

Liz:                 There you go Shue. All done and you look beautiful. (Liz kisses Chantille on the forehead)

(Liz walks into nursery)

Liz:                 There, there sweaty, Mamma is here. (quick diaper change as Liz sings a soft lullabye)

(when Liz enters kitchen with Kayleigh on her hip,  Chantille is eating a bowl of Corn Popps® and you can hear the TV in the background.) 

Liz:                 Ricky, come get your breakfast, and turn off that TV.

Ricky:             (always a flurry of activity, runs into the room) Mamma, can I have Corn Flakes® and Corn Popps® and Cherioes®?

Liz:                 Pick one please and go turn off that TV.

Ricky:             (runs back to livingroom) Ok Mamma, I’ll have oatmeal.

Liz:                 good job, Ricky. Now sit down and eat your peaches and cream.

Chantille:      I have to catch the bus, Mamma.

Liz:                 Your backpack is in your cubby by the door. Love you, have a great day!

Chantille:      (Give Liz a huge hug) Love you too, Mamma. Bye Ricky, bye Kayleigh!

(Liz watches out the window while Chantille walks to the end of the driveway where the bus waits for her.)

Scene 2 -        mid afternoon, Liz is sitting at the table with her budget book

 (Liz looks up from her cheque book her eyes dart around the room, looking for something)

Liz:                 (mumbles to herself) you are imagining things again.

The Voice:     What do you think you are doing? Are you stupid or what? You can’t do that![1]

Liz:                 (shaking her head) stop that.

The Voice:     Where is Ricky, he is being a bad boy, you have to punish him.

Liz:                 No, I won’t do that, he is just playing with his toys.

The Voice:     Kayleigh, she is taking you away from your life’s work, she is the reason you can’t do your research.

Liz:                 stop it, I won’t listen to you.

The Voice:     Just put the pillow over her head, then you can go back to work.

Liz:                 (screams) I could never hurt my baby. I won’t do it! Leave me alone!

Ricky:             (runs into kitchen) Mamma who’s here? Who are you yelling at?

Liz:                 (grabs Ricky and hugs him really hard) It’s ok Baby everything is ok.

Ricky:             Mamma, your squishing me.

Liz:                 You go watch some TV, Baby. Mamma has to get back to her budget.

[strange noises can be heard, squeals of terror]

(Liz looks into livingroom and Ricky sits quietly in front of TV.)

Liz:                 Can’t he hear that?

The Voice:     He really is a stupid  boy you’d be better off without him.

 ( the bus pull up out front)

Liz:                 (to herself) pull it together, Shue is home.

Scene 3-         Liz is on the phone with Janice

Liz:                 Something is wrong.

Janice:                        What is it?

Liz:                 I feel funny.

Janice:                        Funny how?

Liz:                 I hear things.

Janice:            Do you need to have your ears checked?

Liz:                 No, I hear bad things. I hear a voice telling me to hurt the kids.

Janice:                        Have you told Gene?

Liz:                 No, He wouldn’t understand. He’ll think I’m crazy!

Janice:                        I am coming right over.

(Janice arrives 20 minutes later, having driven in from Edmonton.)

Liz:                 (gives her friend a hug) I just don’t know what to do.

Janice:                        I am here, I can help.

Liz:                 I appreciate that, I remember my grandfather telling me about the voices he heard but I thought he was kidding.

Janice:                        So you think there might be a family history?[2]

Liz:                 It could be, Mom just always said her father was a genius and very eccentric.

Janice:                        OK, I am going to take the kids and you are going to check yourself in at the GlenRose.

Liz:                 But what will people say?[3]

Janice:            Don’t worry about that, you just have to get better.

Act 2- The GlenRose

Scene 1-         Janice talks to her husband

Janice:                        Paul, I have Liz’ kids, you have to tell Gene to come home right away.

Paul:               Why do you have the kids, is something wrong?

Janice:                        Liz is at the GlenRose. She said she hears voices.

Paul:               That’s why I love you, always helping out.

Janice:            Go tell Gene to come home.

Scene 2-         Paul tells Gene

Paul:               Gene, something in wrong with Liz. She is at the GlenRose. Janice has the kids, they are fine.

Gene:              Shoot, what am I supposed to do, I have to work. We have 2 car payments, two mortgages and bills to pay. She is in the hospital that is the best place for her. As long as the kids are safe and Janice doesn’t mind taking care of them, I have to stay up here at least for 8 more days and finish a set so I have enough money for this month’s bills.

Paul:               OK, but get there as soon as you can. She needs you.

Scene 3-         meeting with Dr. O’

Dr. O’:            Hello Liz, how can I help you today?

Liz:                 I am worried, I hear voices that tell me to harm my children.

Dr.O’:             I will prescribe  Haldol but you will stay in hospital until we can get this under control.

Narrator:        While Liz is in hospital for 6 weeks[4], Gene does some research and he finds a clinic that has a device called “walk in their footsteps”[5] that allows the person to experience what it is like to have schizophrenia by wearing a virtual reality apparatus that simulates the visual and auditory hallucinations experienced by someone with schizophrenia.[6]

Liz:                 Dr. O, I don’t think the Haldol is working for me. I am still hearing voices.

Dr. O’:            We can try rTMS. I have a colleaugue at the hospital who is running a trial. I’ll call and get you in.

Liz:                 What is rTMS?

Dr. O’:            It stands for repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation[7]. It involves noninvasive stimulating of nerve cells in the brain.

Liz:                 Is that like Electro Convulsive Therapy?

Dr. O’:            It is based on similar principles but during the procedure an electric current passes through a figure 8 shaped wire coil which has been placed over the scalp. This current depolarizes the nerve cells resulting in disruption of brain activity.

Liz:                 You want to disrupt my brain, isn’t that dangerous?

Dr. O’:            rTMS focuses on the prefrontal cortex, a very specific part of the brain, the one that seems to be causing the voices that you hear.

Liz:                 I just want the voices gone, I’ll try anything.

Dr. O’:            I’ll book you in with Dr. S for tomorrow.

Scene 4-         Dr. S. Office

Narraotor:      It is 2 weeks later and Liz is sitting across from Dr. S.

Dr. S.:                        You have had ten sessions. How are you doing today,  Liz?

Liz:                 I am feeling good Dr. S. The voices don’t come so often now.

Dr. S.:                        We will continue with the treatment for 3 more weeks and see how you do.

Liz:                 Thank you Dr. S. I think this is going to work.

Narrator:        3 more weeks have gone by, Liz has had 15 more sessions

Liz:                 Dr. S. The voices are gone, I feel like my old self again.

Narrator:        Liz goes home to her family, she has been away from them for almost 3 months. Their reunion is short lived, within 3 weeks the voices return even stronger than before. Gene, now understanding what she must be going through rushes her back to see Dr.O’ at the GlenRose.

Dr. O’:            You have been unresponsive to both meds and rTMS, Liz. I am going to refer you to Dr. J. He is an occupational therapist.

Narrator:        After undergoing 12 months of occupational therapy[8] with Dr. J. Liz is still no better then she was after her first rTMS sessions. Dr. O’ refers her to her last hope, Dr. B, a

world famous psychologist who has a new and interesting way of dealing with the hallucinations.

Act 3- Fixing the Misunderstanding

Scene 1-         Meeting with Dr. B.

Liz:                 Hello Dr.B.

Dr.B.:             I have gone over your case file and it seems you have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia but have been unresponsive to the medication. rTMS seemed to work for a while and occupational therapy was not a success either.

Liz:                 That is correct, can you help me?

Dr. B.:             I can help you. I am going to examine each of your hallucinations and help you to understand them. There is a history and a purpose to everything you see and hear, we just have to explore it. Extreme states of mind are needed for transformation.[9]

Dr. B.:             Just like dreams are nighttime hallucinations, the voices you hear happen during wakefulness. We can analyse the voices the same as a dream.

Dr. B.:             You become schizophrenic based on your history[10] whether it be a history of drug use or abuse.

Liz:                 I don’t use drugs and I have never been abused.

Dr. B.:                        You can come through this, I am confident and I will work with you through your extreme state of mind.[11]

Narrator:        It is important for Dr B. to be comfortable and relaxed as he listens to Liz. He must be open and unafraid. [12]

Dr. B.:            Ok, let’s begin, How old are you?

Liz:                 I just turned 32.

Dr. B.:                        What level of education do you have?

Liz:                 I have my doctorate in biology. My team is on the cusp of a breakthrough in diabetic research.

Dr. B.:                        Can you describe what the Voice tells you?

Liz:                 The Voice says: What do you think you are doing? Are you stupid or what? You can’t do that![13]

Dr B.:             Where have you heard those words before? Has anyone else said those things to you?

Liz:                 Yes, my husband. He has trouble communicating so when he should be discussing things with me and I disagree he calls me stupid. (Liz begins to cry)

Dr. B.:                        It is ok to cry , Liz, your husband’s words really hurt you. 

Narrator :       A few minutes later, once Liz has calmed down, Dr B. asks Liz to describe another event where the Voice spoke to her.

Liz:                 The Voice always tells me to hurt my children. Things like “Where is Ricky, he is being a bad boy, you have to punish him.” Or “Kayleigh, she is taking you away from your life’s work, she is the reason you can’t do your research. Just put the pillow over her head, then you can go back to work.”

Dr. B.:                        Do you love your children?

Liz:                 very much.

Dr. B.:            But you love your work also and you want to get that validation back into your life. There is nothing wrong with that. We will examine all the voices and you will be able to go back to work.

Narrator:        Liz worked with Dr. B. for  6 more months and the voices disappeared. By dealing with the issues at hand the hallucinations become distinct and real and part of normal thought process.[14]  Dealing with hallucinations gives the power of psychotherapy to the patient and the problems becomes the means for the solution. These problems are then building blocks so the patient can learn and grow.[15]

Liz has been free of the voices for 5 years now and she is back doing the research she loves on diabetes.

The End

Playwrite’s note: The therapy’s described in this play are all valid and can be used to help with schizophrenia. Results vary dependant on patient and circumstances

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[1]  http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz97sdLKkw

[2] Sadock, B.J., & Sadock, V.A. (2007). Kaplan & sadocks synopsis of psychiatry: behavioural sciences/clinical psychiatry (10^th ed.) Philidelphia, PA: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.pp. 470-471

[3] Vogel, David, L. (2007) Avoidance of counseling psychological factors that inhibit seeking help. Journal of Counselling and Development Volume:85. Issue 4. p.410-430

[4] Sadock, B.J., & Sadock, V.A. (2007). Kaplan & sadocks synopsis of psychiatry: behavioural sciences/clinical psychiatry (10^th ed.) Philidelphia, PA: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.p. 489

[5] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moP_e-gx5hkfeature=related

[6] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPXkwYM9G-s&feature=related

[7] Fitzgerald, P.B. and Daskalakis, Z.J. (2008) A review of repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation use in the treatment of schizophrenia. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. Vol 53 no 9. pp. 567-576

[8] Cook, S. and Chambers, E. Coleman, J.H.(2009) Occupational therapy for people with psychotic conditions in community settings: a pilot randomized controlled trial. Clinical Rehabilitation. vol. 23 pp.40-52

[9] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1tMrwvbosw Hallucinations & Schizophrenia Extreme States of Mind- Part 1

[10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqsMSYzzaSk Schizophrenia-Extreme States of Mind- Part 2

[11] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGgxjXq7j6Y&feature=channel Recovery: Schizophrenia& Mental Illness- Psychology

[12] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1tMrwvbosw Hallucinations & Schizophrenia Extreme States of Mind- Part 1

[13]  http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz97sdLKkw

[14] Karon, Bertram. (2007) The use of hallucinations in the treatment of psychotic patients. Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry, vol. 9. Num 3. Springer Publishing Company

[15] Karon, Bertram. (2007) The use of hallucinations in the treatment of psychotic patients. Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry, vol. 9. Num 3. Springer Publishing Company