4:44

My Dad died in 2007, May 20th. Normally, people would talk about what a great life someone led or how amazing they were. My Dad and I were never really close. My Dad liked to spend time alone with his many books. When I was growing up he would put on amazing spreads for dinner parties... ah he had a knack for creating fabulous food and growing amazing gardens. When I was little we always had a green house full of tomatoes. But later in life he seldom cooked, gardened and he spent more and more time with his drink and his books.

You might think, why are you so down on your Dad? I am just being honest. But that is not why I am writing this blog. While I was home to set dad out to sea, he was cremated, the Christmas Cactus bloomed in our basement, did I mention it was May? Way out of season. I saw it and said "Thanks Dad for giving me a sign."

This blog is about 4:44, a time when my dad came to me a few weeks after he died.
After I had returned to Fort McMurray, one night I awoke from a deep sleep to the smell of smoke, not like smoke from  a fire but from a Player's Plain cigarette! I woke up and sat on the edge of the bed. No one in our house smoked and no windows were open. I didn't wake my husband up. I just looked at the clock radio glowing in the dark, 4:44. "I love you dad, but I have to work tomorrow, night." I lay back down and went to sleep.

Since he has passed, I can not even tell you how many times he has waken me up at that time, now he has recruited our puppy to help do his dirty work. It has extended into the day time as well, I just walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. 4:44 the clock read... "Hi Dad, love you." Now it has become a habit, it seems if I am annoyed or need to take a break and change gears 4:44 will appear, seemingly out of nowhere! One night my husband and I were watching Team Canada in an important World Junior Hockey Game and the officials stopped the game with 4:44 left on the clock, "Come on Jim, just one more goal" my husband urged, funny my Dad was never a hockey fan in this life but in the next I guess he just wants to see me happy. Actually, I know he does. Even his parents who passed when I was in my late teens and early twenties seem to be protective spirits around me.

4:44 calms me, makes me smile and it makes me think. 4:44 makes me remember what is important and it gives my heart peace. I wish you all a 4:44.

"Love you, Dad!"